Nicole's Journey

HI EVERYONE!

MY NAME IS NICOLE AND THIS BLOG IS ABOUT ME AND THE HISTORY OF WHY I AM IN A WHEELCHAIR WITH MANY OTHER MEDICAL CONDITIONS THAT IMPAIR MY MOBILITY TO GET OUT AND DO THINGS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

I HAD JUST STARTED GETTING MY LIFE IN ORDER AFTER MANY YEARS OF BAD DECISIONS. I WAS GRANTED A POSITION WITH ODOT IN CRASH ANALYSIS AND REPORTING SECTION AS A TEMPORARY EMPLOYEE FOR A ONE YEAR CONTRACT. THE JOB I WAS DOING TAKES ABOUT A YEAR OF TRAINING TO DO THE JOB CORRECTLY BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY PARTS TO IT, AND I LOVED THE POSITION BECAUSE IT WAS NEVER THE SAME EVERY DAY HUMDRUM OF MOST OFFICE JOBS.

THEN IN DECEMBER OF 2010 I INTERVIEWED AND WAS OFFERED A FULL TIME PERMANT POITION WITH THE SAME JOB I WAS ALREADY DOING ONLY NOW IT WAS PERMANT. I WAS FINALLY DOING EVERYTHING IN ORDER. I WAS A FULL FLEDGE ADULT WITH AN ADULT JOB. LOL!

I WAS WORKING HARD GETTING TO WORK EARLY AND DOING WHAT I NEEDED TO. ON THE MORNING OF AUGUST 18, 2011, I WAS DRIVING RATHER THAN MY ROOMMATE. I DROVE A DIFFERENT WAY TO WORK WE NORMALLY DROVE. THAT MORNING WAS GOING TO BE THE STARTING POINT IN MY LIFE THAT WOULD CHANGEEVRYTHING.

AT 6:37AM I WAS DRIVING WESTBOUND ON SILVERTON RD, ANOTHER GUY WAS DRIVING NORTHBOUND ON LANSING RD. OUR LIGHT WAS GREEN AND HIS WAS RED, HE WAS SPEEDING AND RAN THE RED LIGHT MAKING A HARD ND FAST RIGHT TURN. RUNNING UP ON THE SIDEWALK HE CRANKED HIS WHEEL HARD AND FAST AGAIN HEADING ACROSS 5 LANES OF TRAFFIC.

IF I WOULDN’T HAVE SEEN HIM OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY EYE HE WOULD HAVE KILLED US. I GRABBED MY ROOMMATE AND PULLED HIM UP FROM GRABBING HIS MONSTER DRINK OFF THE FLOOR AND CRANKED IT HARD AND FAST TO THE RIGHT HEADING TOWARDS THE SIDEWALK.

I SAW MY BOYFRIENDS FACE SCREAMING AT ME “CRANK THAT BITCH AND HIT IT!” WHEN THEY SAY YOU SEE A FLASH OF YOUR LIFE IN FRONT OF YOU, THEY WEREN’T LYING. ALL OF THE DRIVER’S TRAINING AND ODOT PROFESSIONAL TRAINING I HAD HAD KICKED IN. MIND YOU THIS ALL HAPPENEND IN LIKE A MATTER OF 5 SECONDS.

THE OTHER DRIVER HIT MY FRONT LEFT FENDER HARD ENOUGH TO BREAK MY FONT AXEL AND PUSH US UP ON THE SIDEWALK AND INTO A BRICK BUILDING. WE BOUNCED OFF THAT BUILDING LIKE IT WAS NOTHING. HE HIT US AGAIN AT THE FRAME OF MY DRIVER’S SIDE DOOR PUSHING IT INWARD. THEN PROCEEDED TO SLIDE DOWN THE DRIVERS SIDE OF MY CAR.

THE AIR BAGS HAD GONE OFF AND I GOT THE WIND KNOCKED OUT OF ME. MY ROMMATE SOME HOW GOT OUT OF THE CAR. WE CAN’T FIGURE OUT BECAUSE HIS SIDE OF THE CAR HAD BEEN RAMMED INTO THE BRICK BUILDING. ANYWAY HE WAS ABLE TO GET TO MY SIDE OF THE CAR AND CUT HE AIR BAD THAT MY FACE WAS BURIED IN SO FAR, I COULDN’T BREATHE. HE HIT ME IN THE BACK TO BREATHE. HE ASKED IF I WAS ALRIGHT I SAID EVENTHOUGH I COULDN’T FEEL ANY PART OF MY BODY NOT REALIZING I WAS IN SHOCK QUITE YET.

THE PARAMEDICS SHOWED UP RIGHT AFTER THAT I WAS GOING IN AND OUT OF CONSCIOUSNESS BUT STARTED TO UNDERSTAND I WAS IN SHOCK AND NEEDED TO STAY AWAKE NO MATTER WHAT CAUSE IT COULD KILL ME IF I DIDN’T. I STAYED FOCUSED ON WHAT THE FIREFIGHTERS WERE DOING.

MY LEFT ARM WAS PINNED IN BETWEEN THE ARM REST AND THE DOOR. THEY WERE USING THE JAWS OF LIFE TO REMOVE THE DOOR. I HAD TO TELL THEM TO STOP OR THEY WERE GOING TO RIP MY ARM OFF. THE GUY BEHIND ME WAS TRYING TO STABLIZE MY NECK LEANING ME BACK BUT I KEPT FIGHTING TO LOOK FORWARD. WHICH HAPPENED TO BE A GOOD THING, BECAUSE WHEN THEY WERE GOING TO USE THE JAWS OF LIFE TO REMOVE THE DOOR FRAME I HAD TO TELL THEM MY LEG WAS WRAPPED AROUND BACKWARDS AROUND IT.

IT TOOK 45 MINUTES TO PRY MY MANGLED BODY FROM UNDER THE STEERING WHEEL AND COLUMN THAT THEY HAD TO REMOVE BECAUSE IT WAS JAMMED INTO MY CHEST AND ABDOMEN. THE NEXT THING I REMEMBER WAS BEING ON THE GURNEY AND SEEING THE ABMBULANCE AND THINKING OK I’M ON THE WAY TO THE HOSPITAL I’M GOING TO BE TAKEN CARE OF.

WHAT I DIDN’T KNOW WAS HOW EXTENSIVE MY INJURIES WERE. I DON’T REMEMBER BEING IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM. BUT MY CHIDREN AND MOTHER HAVE TOLD ME ABOUT ME TALKING TO THEM GOING IN AND OUT OF CONSCIOUSNESS. I BROKE MY FEMUR IN HALF LIKE I WAS A TWIG. THAT IS THE HARDEST BONE IN YOUR BODY TO BREAK. IT WAS THE ONE BENT BACKWARDS AROUND THE DOOR FRAME. MY RIGHT ANKLE WAS BROKE INTO PIECES. MY RIGHT TIBIA AND FIBULA WERE BROKE AS WELL, MY LEFT HUMEROUS WAS BROKE IN FOUR PLACES. MY ULN BROKE AND MY RADIUS WAS DISLOCATED. PLUS A FRACTURED SKULL, NECK AND BACK. MULTIPLE BROKEN OR FRACTURED RIBS. AND THAT’S JUST THE BONES I CAN REMEMBER.

I KNOW THAT THERE WERE MASSIVE INTERNAL INJURIES. MY FAMILY TOLD ME I WOULD COME OUT OF ONE SURGERY AND IT SEEMED LIKE THE NEXT WAS COMING. I HAD MULTIPLE SURGRIES ON MULTIPLE PARTS OF MY BODY FOR THE NEXT SEVERAL DAYS. I WAS PLACED IN A MEDICAL COMA SO I COULD RELAX AND HEAL. IT TOOK 12 DAYS BEFORE THEY COULD TAKE ME OFF THE RESPIRATOR BECAUSE I JUST COULDN’T BREATHE ON MY OWN.

I REMEMBER WAKING UP IN NICU, AND I WAS ANGRY. I WANTED TO GET UP AND DESTROY WHAT EVER WAS IN MY WAY. THERE WAS ONLY ONE PROBLEM I WAS IMMOBILIZED. I HAD A BRACE FROM MY HIP TO MY ANKLE ON MY LEFT LEG. A HALO THAT WAS SCREWED INTO MY FOOT ANKLE AND TIBIA AND FIBULA TO HOLD ALL THE PIECES TOGETHER. MY LEFT ARM WAS IN A BRACE OF SORTS FROM MY SHOULDER TO MY WRIST. I COULDN’T MOVE ANY PART OF MY BODY EXCEPT MY LEFT ARM.

I WAS SO ANGRY I CRIED AND SCREAMED. I FINALLY HAD BEEN DOING EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE RIGHT. I OWNED MY OWN MAUFACTURED HOME, I OWNED MY CAR, I HAD A GOOD FULL TIME POSITION WITH THE STATE OF OREGON AT ODOT IN CRASH ANALYSIS AND REPORTING THAT I REALLY LIKED. WHY DID THIS HAPPEN NOW AND RUIN MY LIFE. I COULDN’T UNDERSTAND. NOT THAT THERE WAS A REASON THIS HAPPENED TO ME. A CARELESS DRIVER HIT ME IN MY CAR AND CAUSED THE WRECK, NOT ME, THE MANUEVERS I DID SAVED MINE AND TAYLOR’S LIFE THAT DAY.

I WAS STILL HERE THAT’S WHAT WAS IMPORTANT BECAUSE BOTH OF MY DAUGHTERS WERE PREGNANT AND GOING TO HAVE BOYS. SO THAT’S WHAT I CONCENTRATED ON TO MAKE ME WANT TO DO WHATEVER IT WAS GOING TO TAKE FOR ME TO BE THE GRANDMA THAT I HAD AWAYS WANTED TO BE. I MAY HAVE MORE CHALLENGES THEN MOST BUT I WAS GOING TO BE THERE NO MATTER WHAT.

I ALSO NEEDED TO GET HOME TO MY FUR BABY DAKOTA JOE. HE WAS MY BOYFRIEND JON’S DOG, WELL AT LEAST UNTIL HE MET ME. THEN HE WAS ALL ABOUT ME. JON TOLD ME HE WASN’T HARDLY EATING OR PLAYING WITH HIS TOYS WHEN I WAS MOVED TO THE ICU. ALL THIS OLD BOY KNEW WAS MOMMY LEFT FOR WORK AND NEVER CAME BACK. I WAS AWAKE AND ALERT NOW. JON FINALLY GOT PERMISSION FROM THE HOSPITAL TO BRING DAKOTA IN. AT FIRST DAKOTA WAS HESITANT; HE CHECKED EVERYTHING OUT TO MAKE SURE IT WAS SAFE. THEN WE LOWERED THE BED ALL THE WAY FOR HIM TO COME CLOSE.

WHEN HE HEARD MY VOICE, HE PERKED RIGHT UP AND CAME TO ME. I PETTED HIM AND HE JUST LOOKED UP AND DOWN THE BED, I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST SEEING WHAT WAS THERE. BUT, NO, HE WAS LOOKING AWAY TO GET UP ON BED WITH ME, LOL.

HE JUMPED UP BY MY LEGS WITH HIS FRONT PAWS ON THE EDGE FIRST. THE GUYS MOVED MY LEGS TO THE EDGE OF THE BED SO DAKOTA COULD CLIMB UP. WE ALL KNEW HE JUST WANTED TO LAY ON MY TUMMY LIKE HE ALWAYS DID. WE ALL TOLD HIM TO BE GENTLE, WHICH HE WAS VERY CAREFUL STEPPING OVER THE HALO AND MY BRACES AND THEN LAYED HIS 120LB FURRY BODY RIGHT DOWN WITH HIS HEAD ON MY TUMMY. NOW HE KNEW MOMMY DIDN’T LEAVE HIM.

HE STARTED TO EAT AND HOARD ALL THE TOYS AT HIM LIKE HE USED TO. JON BROUGHT HIM BACK TO ME EVERY WEEKEND UNTIL I CAME HOME. DAKOTA WAS ALWAYS HAPPY WHEN HE CAME IN WITH A MOUTH FULL OF TOYS BECAUSE HE ALWAYS GOT TREATS AND LOVE. SEEING THAT DOG EVERY WEEK ALSO BROUGHT ME SUCH JOY.

I WORKED HARD IN PHYSICAL AND OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY. I WORKED TO STAND UP. MAKE MY ARMS STONGER. I WORKED HARD ON SITTING UP ON MY OWN. I WENT TO REHAB IN MT. ANGEL WHERE I WORKED EVEN HARDER BECAUSE I WANTED TO GO HOME BEFORE MY GRANDSONS WERE BORN.

THE MORNING OF OCTOBER 7, 2011, I GOT A CALL FROM MY DAUGHTER BRIEANNA, SHE WAS GOING INTO LABOR. I CALLED MY MOM AND TOLD HER TO GET ME. I WAS 45 MINUTES AWAY FROM HERE AND I NEEDED TO GET TO THE HOSPITAL IN SALEM NOW. I HOLLERED FOR THE AIDES AND NURSES TO GET EVERYTHIG PACKED AND READY CAUSE I NEEDED TO HAVE EVERYTHING READY IN 45 MINUTES. I WASN’T MISSING THIS IF MY LIFE COUNTED ON IT.

NOW AT THIS POINT I HADN’T REALLY STOOD UP ON MY OWN FOR VERY LONG IF AT ALL. THE PHYSICAL THERAPIST HEARD THE NEWS AND CAME IN WITH A WALKER AND BELT. I HAD TO STAND UP ON MY OWN FOR TEN SECONDS AND SHE WOULD LET ME GO HOME. WELL, I MOVED FASTER THEN I PROBABLY HAD AT THAT POINT. I STOOD UP WITH THAT WALKER AND AIDE RIGHT NEXT TO ME. SHE LET GO OF THAT SAFELTY BELT AROUND MY WAIST AND EVERYONE IN THE ROOM COUNTED TO TEN. I DID IT! I WAS GOING HOME.

DUE TO THE CIRUMSTANCES SHE PROBABLY WOULD HAVE LET ME GO ANYWAY BUT IT WAS DEFINTELY A PUSHING POINT TO MAKE ME DO IT. THE AIDES PACKED UP MY ROOM FAST. THE NURSES PACKED UP MY MEDICATIONS AND ORDERS. BY THE TIME MY MOM ARRIVED I WAS IN THE WHEELCHAIR READY TO HEAD OUT. THREE OF THE AIDES WERE CARRYING OUT BOXES AND BAGS OF MY STUFF TO PUT IN MY MOMS TRUNK AND BACKSEAT. THE AIDE WHO WAS PUSHING ME HAD A WALKER READY FOR ME TO STAND UP AND TRANSFER TO THE CAR SEAT. I WAS READY TO GO.

I MADE IT TO THE HOSPITAL JUST AFTER BRIEANNA AND HER HUSBAND HAD ARRIVED TO THEIR HOSPITAL ROOM WITH THE NEWEST EDITION TO THE FAMILY. I WAS IN TEARS AS BRIEANNA INTERODUCED ME TO VINCENT LEEON. MY MOM TOOK HIM FROM BRIEANNA I WANTED TO HOLD HIM. MY BROKEN ARM IN A SLING I TOOK THE LITTLE GUY IN MY ARMS AND JUST GAZED AT THIS REASON FOR ME TO LIVE.

THE REASON I TALK ABOUT THE POINTS OF MY LIFE THAT SEEM SO NOT IMPORTANT, IS BECAUSE THEY REALLY ARE IMPORTANT. YOU NEED TO FIND SOMETHING IN YOUR LIFE THAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU TO SUCCEED WHEN STRUGGLING THROUGH LIFES CHALLENGES NO MATTER WHAT YOU ARE FACING. MINE HAPPENED TO BE A BIG FUR BABY AND AT THE TIME TWO LITTLE BOYS. THEY WERE MY WHOLE REASON TO PUSH FO SUCCESS.

BY THE TIME I GOT HOME THAT DAY THE LIVING ROOM HAD BEEN REARRANGED TO ALLOW ROOM FOR MY HOSPITAL BED THAT I WAS STILL GOING TO NEED BECAUSE I WASN’T FULLY HEALED AND WOULDN’T BE FOR A VERY LONG TIME. I’M STILL NOT FULLY HEALED AND NEVER WILL BE. BUT I NOW KNOW I CAN LIVE WITH THOSE CHALLENGES.

I HAD SPENT A LOT OF TIME AFTER, MY RELEASE FROM REHAB, GOING TO ORTHOPEDIC APPOINTMENTS ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THE POINT WAS FOR MY BONES TO HEAL AND GET BACK TO LIFE. WELL THE LONGER THEN WE THOUGHT. THE DOCTOR SAID I SHOULD BE HEALING AND BACK TO WORK IN THREE MONTHS OR SO. I WAS EXCITED I COULD GET BACK TO MY LIFE AGAIN…… THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN.

IN FEBRARY 2012 MY SECOND GRANDSON WAS BORN. I GOT TO BE AT THE HOSPITAL WHEN ALLYSSA WENT INTO LABOR BUT HER BABY’S DAD’S FAMILY BASICALLY PUSHED ME OUT. THEN THE NURSE APOLOGIZED TO ME BUT ME BEING IN THE WHEELCHAIR COULD BE IN THE WAY IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG. AGAINST WHAT I WANTED I DID IT BECAUSE ALLYSSA SAID IT WAS OK. I WAITED OUTSIDE WITH HER FATHER. ONCE WE HEARD THAT BABY CRY BOTH OF US CRIED. ABOUT 10 MINUTES LATER THE NURSE USERED OUT THE FATHERS FAMILY AND COREY AND I WENT IN TO MEET OUR NEW GRANDSON WILLIAM LEROY. JUST ONE MORE REASON FOR ME TO FIGHT.

NONE OF MY BONES HEALED. WE TRIED BONE STIMULATORS, CADAVER BONE, RODS WERE SHORTENED, NOTHING AS WORKING. BY DECEMBER I WAS WONDERING IF I WAS GOING TO LOSE MY LEGS. I STARTED TALKING WITH EVERYONE ABOUT IT. BY MARCH I HAD HAD 16 SURGERIES ON MY RIGHT LEG TRYING TO FIX IT. THEY PUT A ROD IN MY LEFT LEG AND THAT SEEMED TO WORK, DIDN’T MAKE IT HEAL BUT I COULD STAND ON IT WITH SOME PAIN. BUT I WAS STUBBORN.

I TALKED WITH MY DOCTOR WHO WAS NATIONWIDE KNOWN FOR HIS AMAZING TRAUMA OTHOPEDIC SURGERIES. I TALKED WITH JON AND MY FAMILY. THERE WASN’T ANYTHING THEY COULD DO TO MAKE MY RIGHT LEG HEAL. I MET A LADY IN THE WAITING ROOM THAT HAD JUST HAD AN ABOVE KNEE AMUTATION, SHE WAS YOUNGER THAN ME. I ASKED HER ABOUT HER AMPUTATION AND IF SHE THOUGHT IT WAS WORTH IT. SHE SAID IT DEFINITELY WAS BECAUSE IT GAVE HER, HER MOBILITY BACK. THAT WAS IT, I TURNED TO MY MOM AND SAID I’M DONE I WANT MY LEG AMPUTATED.

I DIDN’T REALIZE HOW MUCH I WOULD HAVE TO PUSH MY SURGEON BUT I TALKED WITH HIM SERIOUSLY TO MAKE MY POINT. HE TOLD ME SURGEONS WANT TO FIX THING NOT TAKE THEM OFF. I ASKED HIM IF HE KNEW OF ANYTHING WE HAVEN’T TRIED. HE HAD CONTACTED OTHER SPECIALISTS ACROSS THE COUNTRY ON MY CASE AND NO ONE HAD ANY ANSWERS. I TOLD HIM I WANTED MY LIFE BACK OR SOME OF IT BACK.

IN APRIL OF 2012 I HAD MY RIGHT LEG AMPUTATED BY CHOICE BELOW THE KNEE AT THE BREAK. I WORKED ON MY HEALING BUT IT DIDN’T SEEM TO BE GOING AS WELL AS WE HOPED. THE INCISION WAS STILL SLIMY AND THE GREEN WAS GETTING WORSE. BRIEANNA SAID I THINK IT’S INFECTED. AT FIRST THE DOCTOR SAID THAT WAS WHAT HAPPENS SOMETIMES WITH AMPUTATIONS. SO, WE LET IT GO. AROUND 6 WEEKS, IT JUST KEPT GETTING WORSE. FINALLY, I WENT TO THE HOSPITAL BECAUSE MY HEALTH WAS ONLY GOING DOWN HILL. THEY RUSHED ME INTO EMERGENCY SURGERY. APPARENTY SOMEONE DIDN’T REMOVE A SPONGE INSIDE MY LEG. EITHER WAY IT WAS REMOVED AND ALL THE INFECTION WAS REMOVED. SO, WAS MORE OF MY LEG AND BONE.

BY THE END OF THE SUMMER MY LEG HAD HEALED AND I WAS GOING TO THE PROSTHETIC DEPARTMENT GETTING MY FIRST PROSTHETIC FOR MY RIGHT LEG. I TAUGHT MYSELF HOW TO WALK WITH A WALKER AND THEN ON MY OWN. IT WASN’T EASY BY ANY MEANS, BUT I KEPT WORKING AT IT, UNTIL I WAS ABLE TO WALK AROUND THE HOUSE ON MY OWN. I NEVER WAS ABLE TO WALK VERY FAR OR FOR VERY LONG ON MY OWN, BUT I WAS WALKING AND THAT IS THE IMPORTANT PART.

I STILL HAD A LONG TIME AND LOT OF HARD WORK AHEAD OF ME. IN OCTOBER I MET WITH A PHYIOLOGIST, THAT’S A SPECIALIS FOR PEOPLE IN NEED OF WHEELCHAIRS. I HAD GONE INTO PHYSICAL THERAPY IN A MANUAL WHEELCHAIR, AND THE PT SAID THAT JUST DIDN’T SEEM RIGHT TO HER SO, SHE SET ME UP WITH THE PHYSIOLOGIST. AFTER MEETING WITH THIS PHYSIOLOGIST, SHE WAS FURIOUS THAT NO ONE HAD SENT ME TO HER RIGHT AFTER MY WRECK, BECAUSE I SHOUD HAVE HAD A SPECIALIZED WHEELCHAIR THEN. I WAS SHOCKED. SHE CUSTOM DESIGNED ME A WHEELCHAIR WITH ELECTRIC TILT, RECLINE AND LEG LIFTS. THAT MADE A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE FOR ME. BECAUSE I WAS GOING TO BE GETTING MORE INDEPENDENCE IN MY LIFE.

IN AUGUST OF 2012 MY FIRST GRANDDAUGHTER WAS BORN 2 YEARS TO THE DAY OF MY ACCIDENT. I NO LONGER HAD AN ACCIDENTVERSARY, I HAD A BEAUTIFUL GRANDAUGHTER THAT WAS SO PRECIOUS. THESE THREE LITTLE GRANDKIDS WERE MY WHOLE WORLD, LIFE SEEMED SO MUCH BETTER.

I CONTINUED IN TREATMENT WITH PHYSICAL THERAPY, OCCUPATIONAL THERAPY, VARIOUS DOCTOR FOLLOW UPS AND WITH PROSTHETICS GETTING ADJUSTMENTS AS NEEDED. THIS WAS MY LIFE CONSTANTLY GOING TO MEDICAL APPOINTMENTS OF ONE SORT OR ANOTHER FOR THE NEXT SEVERAL YEARS. I HAD A FEW MORE SURGERIES SUCH AS REVISIONS ON MY AMPUTATION AND REPAIRS TO THE RODS IN MY ARMS.

FUNNY, BUT NOT FUNNY, STORY, I WENT INTO THE DOCTOR’S OFFICE TO BE SET UP WITH A PAIR OF CRUTCHES AND I JUST LIFTED MY LEFT ARM UP FROM MY SIDE AND OUT TO PUT THE CRUTCH UNDER MY ARM AND I HEARD A LOUD POP, AND MY ARM JUST HUNG THERE LIKE A LEAF OFF OF A TREE BRANCH. I WAS MILDLY FREAKING OUT. THEY GOT ME IN FOR AN XRAY BECAUSE I WAS SURE I BROKE MY ARM AGAIN. MIND YOU THIS IS THE SAME ARM THAT MY HUMEROUS WAS BROKEN IN FOUR PLACES AND HAD A ROD THROUGH IT. KIASER PERMANENTE TOOK MY XRAY AND TOLD ME NOTHING WAS WRONG. THREE DAYS LATER I WAS STILL IN SEVERE PAIN. I FINALLY WENT INTO THE EMERGENCY ROOM AND NOT ONLY DID I BREAK MY ARM IN TWO PIECES BUT I ALSO BROKE THE ROD IN MY ARM. THEY CALLED MY SURGEON IN AND I WENT IN FOR ANOTHER SUGERY.

LIFE WENT ON AND IN FEBURARY OF 2013, I WENT WITH FRIENDS FOR A FOUR DAY THREE NIGHT STAY IN VEGAS. ONE HARD PART WAS EVEN THOUGH I COULD WALK ING THE HOTEL ROOM WE HAD TO RENT A SCOOTER FOR ME TO GO OUT ON THE TOWN. WE HAD BLAST GAMBLING, SEEING SHOWS, WALKING UP AND DOWN THE STRIP SHOPPING AT ALMOST EVERY STORE WE SAW. WE WENT TO THE M&M STORE I WAS ESTATIC I LOVE M&M’S, BUT I ALSO HAD 3 BEATIFUL TODDLERS AT HOME THAT I HAD TO GET M&M BACKPACKS FOR THAT WAS FULL OF CANDY, TOYS, AND WHATEVER OTHER EXCITING THING FROM MY TRIP FOR THEM I COULD FIND.

I SOLD BOTH OF THE MNUFACTURED HOUSES I OWNED KICKED EVERYONE WHO WAS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME OUT AND MOVED INTO A SMALL ONE BEDROOM APARTMENT. I WAS DRIVING AGAIN AFTER 3 YEARS. NOT A SMALL LITTLE SPORTS CAR BUT A 1999 TAHOE. EVENTUALLY BOTH MY DAUGHTERS MOVED INTO THE SAME APARTMENTS. BRIEANNA GOT A DIVORCE AND ALLYSSA MOVED OUT OF HER BOYFRIEND’S PARENTS’ HOUSE AND ON HER OWN. WE WERE ALL LIVING WITHIN EYE SIGHT OF EACH OTHER WHICH WAS GREAT BECAUSE MY GRANDCHILDREN WOULD PACK THEIR LITTLE M&M BACKPACKS AND LEAVE HOME OFTEN TO GO TO GRANDMA’S BECAUSE MOM WAS BEING MEAN.

LIFE WAS BECOMING MORE NORMAL. THE GIRLS, GRANDKIDS AND I MOVED OUT OF THE APARTMENTS AND IN WITH MY MOM UNTIL WE COULD FIND BETTER HOUSING THE APARTMENTS WE HAD BEEN LIVING IN WERE BECOMING MORE AND MORE INFESTED WITH ROACHES AND IT WASN’T HEALTHY FOR ANYONE. EVENTUALLY BRIEANNA AND ALLYSSA MOVED INTO AN APARTMENT TOGETHER AND I REMAINED AT MY MOM’S HOUSE UNTIL WE COULD FIND ACCOMIDATING HOUSING THAT WOULD WORK WITH MY WHEELCHAIRS.

IN APRIL OF 2018 I HAD RECENTLY LEARNED THAT I HAD FRACTURED MY SKULL, NECK, AND BACK, AS WELL AS BRUISED THE ENTIRE RIGHT SIDE OF MY BRAIN. I WAS HAVING TIA’S. TRANSISCHEMIC ATTACKS WHICH ARE MINI-STROKES. I WAS DRIVING BACK TO LAFAYETTE FROM SALEM AND I WAS ON THE PHONE WITH A FRIEND AND SHE SAID MY WORDS WERE STARTING TO SLUR. I WAS NODDING IN AND OUT OF CONSCIOUSNESS. SHE TOLD ME TO FIND A PLACE TO PULL OVER.

LAFAYETTE HIGHWAY IS A SMALL TWO LANE ROAD OUT IN THE COUNTRY WITH LIMITED PLACES TO PULL OVER. I WAS TRYING TO MAKE MYSELF PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT MY SURROUNDINGS WERE. BUT I COULDN’T FOCUS. I DIDN’T THINK AT THE TIME TO TURN ON MY DANGER LIGHTS AND JUST SLOW DOWN OR STOP IN THE ROAD, I WAS TOO BUSY TRYING TO FOCUS ON A PLACE TO PULL OVER BEFORE I TOTALLY BLACKED OUT, AND THEN I DID. I HIT A DITCH ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE. IT JARRED ME AWAKE AND I SAW A ORCHARD OF BIG TREES AHEAD OF ME. I REMEMBER THINKING AND SAYING OUT LOUD “THIS IS GOING TO HURT.”

IT WAS REPORTED THAT I HIT THE TREE AT ABOUT 80 MILES AN HOUR. I SMASHED THE FRONT END OF MY VAN ON THE PASSENGER SIDE. I REMEMBER BEING AWAKE ENOUGH TO GIVE THE PEOPLE WHO HAD COME FROM EVERYWHERE MY MOM’S PHONE NUMBER WHILE OTHERS WERE CALLING 911 GIVING EMERGENCY VEHICLES OUR LOCATION. THIS TIME I WASN’T SO LUCKY, THE AIRBAGS DIDN’T GO OFF. I WRAPPED MY ENTIRE UPPER BODY AROUND THE STEERING WHEEL. DOING EXTENSIVE ABDOMINAL DAMAGE ONCE AGAIN. I ALSO HAD FURTHER HEAD TRAUMA. I APPPARENTLY TOLD SOMEONE AT THE SCENE I HAD A SIEZURE OR SOME KIND OF MEDICAL INCIDENT. LUCKILY, I DIDN’T HURT ANYONE ELSE.

I WOKE UP SEVERAL DAYS LATER IN OHSU. I WAS ONCE AGAIN NOT A HAPPY CAMPER AND HAD TO HAVE SEVERAL MORE SURGERIES BEFORE I LEFT THE HOSPITAL. I HAD TO WAIT FOR AN EXTRA WEEK AFTER THE DOCTOR RELEASED ME DUE TO THE FACT THAT SOME DISCHARGE ADMINISTRATER COULDN’T FIND OR GET ME A WOUND VAC. AFTER 5 DAYS I WAS PASSED BEING ANGRY TO FULL ON OUTRAGED BOTH VERBALLY AND PHYSICALLY. ALLYSSA WHO HAD BEEN TAKING CARE OF ME MOSTLY CAME IN AND RAISED HELL AS WELL. AGAINST DOCTOR’S ORDERS THE NURSE TAUGHT US HOW TO PACK THE LARGE WOUND IN MY ABDOMEN WITH GAUZE. I NEVER DID RECEIVE THE WOUND VAC EVEN AFTER I WAS RELEASED TO SHORTEN MY HEALING. I HAD TO KEEP MY WOUND COVERED AND CLEAN AT ALL TIMES.

FROM THAT DATE ON I NEVER DROVE A CAR AGAIN. DRIVING WAS A FREEDOM FOR ME, BACKROAD THERAPY. I WOULD DEAL WITH MY CRAZY EMOTIONS ALL THROUGH MY LIFE BY DRIVING OUT IN THE COUNTRY, TURNNG UP THE MUSIC SINGING TO THE WINDSHIELD AND SOMETIMES CRYING ON THE STEERING WHEEL AS I CRIED WAS SOMETIMES ALL THE THERAPY, I EVER NEEDED TO DEAL WITH THE EMOTIONS THAT COME WITH LIFE’S CHALLENGES.

ONCE AGAIN, I HAD MONTHS OF THERAPY AND SOME MORE SURGERIES. I HAD BLOWN OUT MY LEFT KNEE IN THE SECOND ACCIDENT. I TALKED WITH MY SURGEON THE SAME ONE I HAD PREVIOUSLY HAD FOM MY FIRST CAR WRECK, HE CALLED ME HIS PROBLEM CHILD, JOKINGLY, BECAUSE EVERY TIME I CAME IN I HAD SOMETHING ELSE FOR HIM TO FIX. HE TOLD ME HE COULDN’T FIX MY KNEE BECAUSE IT HAD A ROD IN IT FROM MY FEMUR. BUT ON A GOOD NOTE ALL OF MY BONES HAD FINALLY HEALED AFTER ALL THOSE YEARS.

HE TOLD ME TO WALK ON IT AS LONG AS I COULD. I DID EVEN USING A WALKER IN THE HOUSE, UNTIL I LITERALLY COULDN’T PUT WIEGHT ON IT. AT THIS POINT IT WAS DECEMBER OF 2018. I WENT INTO MY SURGEON AND WAS HAVING A SERIOUS TALK ABOUT HOW IT WAS TIME TO HAVE MY LEFT LEG ABOVE THE KNEE AMPUTATED. OF COURSE HE DIDN’T LIKE THE IDEA BUT KNOWING THERE WAS NOTHING HE COULD DO TO FIX ME HE SET THE DATE FOR DECEMBER 24TH. OH NO, THERE WAS NO WAY HE WAS GOING TO TAKE CHRISTMAS AWAY FROM ME AND MY GRANDCHILDREN. OF COURSE HE WASN’T SERIOUS. THE DATE WAS SET, JANUARY 9, 2019 I WOULD AGAIN HAVE MY LEG AMPUTATED.

IN APRIL OF 2021 MY FOURTH GRANDCHILD, A BOY, WAS BORN. HE IS MY FIREY LITTLE REDHEAD WITH MORE ATTITUDE THAN I EVER HAD AND I WASN’T A GREAT KID TO DEAL WITH. HE IS AN ATTENTION SCREAMER LIKE HIS MOTHER WAS. APPARENTLY ACCORDING TO HIS OTHER GRANDMOTHER, HE IS JUST LIKE HIS FATHER WAS AT THAT AGE. THAT MADE 3 BOYS AND ONE GIRL.

IN JANUARY OF 2024 MY SECOND GRAND DAUGHTER WAS BORN. MY FIRST GRANDDAUGHTER WHO WAS NOW 11 MADE T VERY CLEAR EVEN BEFORE SHE WAS BORN THAT THERE WERE TOO MANY BOYS IN THE FAMILY AND HER AUNT ALLYSSA BETTER HAVE A GIRL OR SOMEONE WAS GOING TO ADOPT OR HAVE MORE KIDS UNTIL THERE WAS ONE. HAHA! THIS GRANDCHILD AT 1 YEAR OLD HAD MORE SASS AND ATTITUDE THEN ANY OF THE OTHER GRANDCHILDREN. HER OLDEST BROTHER WHO WAS 12 WHEN SHE WAS BORN IS HER FAVORIT PERSON ALIVE. EITHER WAY I NOW HAD 5 PERFECT REASONS TO LIVE LIFE AND STAY HERE AS LONG AS I COULD.

YES, I CHOSE TO BE BOTH OF MY LEGS AMPUTATED. MANY PEOPLE I HAVE TALKED TO SAID THEY COULD NEVER DO THAT. MAYBE FOR SOME THAT IS TRUE, BUT FOR ME I WANTED TO BE ABLE TO MOVE FREELY ON MY OWN AND TRANSFER AS NEEDED. SO, I CHOSE THE AMPUTATIONS.

I SPENT MANY YEARS AFTERWARDS IN THERAPY, WITHOUT AND WITH PROSTHETICS TRYING TO GET UP AND WALK. AT THIS POINT BECAUSE OF IMMOBILITY MY WEIGHT WAS HIGHER THAN I HAD EVERY BEEN. WHICH MADE IT EVEN HARDER. IN FEBRUARY ON 2022, I HAD GASTRIC BYPASS SURGERY. I WORKED THE PROGRAM LIKE I WAS SUPPOSED TO BUT FOR ME. I ONLY LOST ABOUT 75 LBS ALL TOGETHER. IT HELPED ME LEARN TO EAT HEALTHIER. BUT NOT THE WEIGHT LOSS I HOPED FOR.

FEBURARY OF 2023, MY MOM TOOK MY BROTHER,HIS GIRL FRIEND AND ME ON A CRUISE TO THE CARRIBEAN AND A WEEK IN ORLANDO. THIS WAS CHALLENGING BECAUSE AT THIS POINT I WASN’T REALLY USING MY PROSTHETICS IN PT ANYMORE EXCEPT ONCE A WEEK SO I WAS COMPLETELY CONFINED TO A WHEELCHAIR. I WASN’T USING MY PROSTHETICS AT HOME BECAUSE I WAS SO UNSTABLE. BUT WE GOT TO GO TO 4 DIFFERENT ISLANDS. I ONLY GOT TO GO TO THREE BECAUSE THE BAHAMAS REQUIRED A CATAMARAN AND I WAS IN A WHEELCHAIR SO THAT WAS NOT AN OPTION.

IN DECEMBER OF 2023 I HAD A FINAL REVISION ON BOTH OF MY LEGS TRYING ONE MORE TIME TO GET NEW PROSTHETICS THAT WOULD FIT SO I COULD TRY TO WALK AGAIN. THIS WAS THE WORSE DECISION I HAD MADE SO FAR. I GOT AN INFECTION FIRST ON MY LEFT AND THEN MY RIGHT LEG WITHIN TWO DAYS AFTER THE SURGERY. I SPENT THE NEXT 7 MONTHS IN AND OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND REHAB HAVING CLEANING OUT SURGERY EACH TIME. I HAD ENOUGH OF CONSTANTLY GETTING INFECTIONS. ALL TOGETHER I HAD ABOUT 15 INFECTIONS. I FINALLY WENT HOME AND HAD HOME HEALTH CARE COME IN. IT TOOK UNTIL DECEMBER OF 2024 BEFORE ALL THE INFECTION WAS COMPLETELY OUT OF MY LEGS.

THE INFECTIONS WERE SO BAD THAT IT HAD GOTTEN INTO MY BONE DESTROYING PART OF IT. THUS LEAVING ME WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO EVER WEAR PROSTHETICS AGAIN. I CONCEDED TO THE FACT THAT I WOULD PERMANENTLY BE IN A WHEELCHAIR. IT ACTUALLY WASN’T AS HARD AS I THOUGT IT WOULD BE. I’D KNOWN FOR AWHILE THAT IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN ONE DAY.

MY FAMILY HAD GROWN; MY DAUGHTERS WERE MARRIED AGAIN WORKING AND OR HAD FAMILIES OF THEIR OWN TO CARE FOR FULL TIME. THEY REALLY DIDN’T HAVE TIME TO TAKE CARE OF ME. ALTHOUGH IN 2019, MOTHER HAD HAD A CUSTOM-BUILT HOME FOR ME BUILT SO I WOULD HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE THAT WAS ACCOMIDATING FOR ME IN A WHEELCHAIR WITH HER, SHE WAS AGING AND COULD NO LONGER BE MY PRIMARY CARE GIVER. WE STARTED LOOKING FOR ASSISTED LIVING PLACES.

IT WAS DIFFICULT BECAUSE I WAS EITHER TOO YOUNG, THEY DIDN’T DO WHAT TYPE OF CARE I NEEDED, OR THE WAITING LISTS WERE EXETENSIVE. I GOT ON A FEW LISTS BUT THE FACT OF THE MATTER WAS, THE STATE OF OREGON HAD PASSED A LAW THAT FACILITIES NO LONGER HAD TO ACCEPT MEDICAID, I WAS ON MEDICAID I DIDN’T HAVE ANY MONEY TO PAY FOR ASSISTED LIVING. THEN I HAPPENED TO GET A CALL FROM WILLAMETTE MANOR IN LEBANON, OR. THEY WERE AN ASSISTED LIVING PLACE ESPECIALLY FOR LOW INCOME PERSONS WHO WERE ON MEDICAID AND QUALIFIED FOR HOUSING. I MOVED IN AUGUST OF 2025. I KNOW I WILL LIVE IN SOME KIND OF FACILITY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. BUT I STILL HAVE MY FREEDOM TO COME AND GO AS I PLEASE AND HAVE THE CARE 24 HOURS A DAY IN THE FACILITY AS I NEED. I GOT MY OWN LITTLE STUDIO APARTMENT. I’M STILL ADJUSTING BUT I’M LEARNING AGAIN HOW TO LIVE BETTER.

SINCE MY FIRST WRECK IN 2011, WE HAVE FOUND THAT IT BECAME MORE AND MORE DIFFICULT FOR ME TO GO AND DO THINGS. PEOPLE I THOUGHT WERE FRIENDS JUST KIND OF DISAPPEARED. MY LIFE BECAME ALL ABOUT DOCTOR APPOINTMENTS AND THERAPY APPOINTMENTS. I DIDN’T GET TO GO OUT AND DO NORMAL THINGS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE WITHOUT RIDING THE BUS OR HAVING TO TAKE THE FOLD-UP ELECTRIC CHAIR MY MOM BOUGHT ME. BUT THAT WAS HEAVY AND HARD TO LIFT TO PUT IN THE BACK OF VEHICLES WHICH THEN MADE IT HARD TO TAKE ME ANYWHERE.

MALINDA AND I MET WHEN I WORKED AT ODOT. WE REMAINED FRIENDS THROUGHOUT THE LAST 14 YEARS. SHE HAD SEEN HOW HARD IT WAS FOR MOBILITY CHALLENGE PERSONS TO DO SIMPLE THINGS LIKE EVEN GOING TO THE PARK ON A NICE DAY, A TRIP TO THE COAST TO SEE THE OCEAN, GOING TO THE STORE TO GET FOOD AND BASIC NEEDS, OR A SPECIAL ROAD TRIP TO ANYWHERE. SHE DECIDED IN 2024 TO LEARN WHAT IT WOULD TAKE TO CREATE NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION TO HELP PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES BE ABLE TO LIVE NORMAL LIVES. SHE WANTED TO HELP PEOPLE GET OUT INTO THE WORLD AND LIVE LIFE.

AND THAT’S WHERE SHE CAME UP WITH JOURNEY BEYOND BARRIERS. THERE ARE MANY TRIPS TO COME PLUS, ADVENTURES AND RESERVATIONS TOO. JOIN US FOR YOUR FAVORITE ADVENTURE AND WE WILL GET YOU THERE WHEELS AND MOBILITY CHALLENGES AND ALL!!